...so i touched it.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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