I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
