Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.