Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
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Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
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Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...