you suck at this game today
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?