Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
