Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I smell like Dick and happiness
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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