Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
