So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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