So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
