Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize