You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
