my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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