OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize