Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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