swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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