just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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