Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
