Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
