Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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