You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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