Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
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