hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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