Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
