at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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