I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
well you can't waste a boner
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
