yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
