I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
