He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize