she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
