Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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