This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
