is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
