he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Still dying that you shit outside
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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