if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
