If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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