Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
