i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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