Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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