Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
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