MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
PANTIES FOUND
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