It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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