Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar. http://tfl.nu/npd2
  Replies (7) Good night (2877) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4. http://tfl.nu/sr4z
  Replies (385) Good night (130838) Bad night (4803)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator. http://tfl.nu/0m79
  Replies (12) Good night (1153) Bad night (4037)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear. http://tfl.nu/zxhr
  Replies (45) Good night (741) Bad night (3030)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (786): I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction. http://tfl.nu/2rxz
  Replies (58) Good night (1329) Bad night (7408)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there http://tfl.nu/jsjn
  Replies (12) Good night (4326) Bad night (1564)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night. http://tfl.nu/ytje
  Replies (7) Good night (4121) Bad night (1355)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him. http://tfl.nu/dwt7
  Replies (2) Good night (1942) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town. http://tfl.nu/omo7
  Replies (14) Good night (6450) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present. http://tfl.nu/n1ow
  Replies (8) Good night (982) Bad night (2469)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool. http://tfl.nu/41p2
  Replies (2) Good night (2207) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  what are we doing this weekend?

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): what are we doing this weekend? (1-708): I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/uvwp
  Replies (5) Good night (2166) Bad night (1274)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something. http://tfl.nu/bxdz
  Replies (7) Good night (1300) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them http://tfl.nu/lutq
  Replies (8) Good night (656) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down http://tfl.nu/cvrq
  Replies (0) Good night (176) Bad night (360)

Randomize