nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize