Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Operation Purity has been aborted
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
