So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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