He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
