Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(281): View more from Texas

wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(281) wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery http://tfl.nu/mwr2

Replies (6) Good night (2041) Bad night (1329)
Favorite
(734): View more from Michigan

I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(734): I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success. http://tfl.nu/p2jc

Replies (8) Good night (2313) Bad night (606)
Favorite
(647): View more from Ontario

They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(647): They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling. http://tfl.nu/0who

Replies (12) Good night (1290) Bad night (5723)
Favorite
(917): View more from New York City

I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(917): I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy http://tfl.nu/okyl

Replies (1) Good night (2530) Bad night (1168)
Favorite
(218): View more from Minnesota

It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(218): It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter. http://tfl.nu/rje4

Replies (20) Good night (844) Bad night (3871)
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think. http://tfl.nu/5pb2

Replies (9) Good night (1670) Bad night (688)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself? http://tfl.nu/1puu

Replies (6) Good night (1673) Bad night (525)
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...

(410): View more from Maryland

I didn't know

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday... (410): I didn't know http://tfl.nu/kzg0

Replies (1) Good night (1593) Bad night (538)
Favorite
(757): View more from Virginia

You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(757): You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else. http://tfl.nu/0zf9

Replies (20) Good night (1140) Bad night (526)
Favorite
(817): View more from Texas

She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(817): She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!! http://tfl.nu/esz2

Replies (4) Good night (1398) Bad night (465)
Favorite
(574): View more from Indiana

how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(574): how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex http://tfl.nu/ior9

Replies (4) Good night (948) Bad night (1057)
Favorite
(310): View more from California

Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year http://tfl.nu/x1ad

Replies (4) Good night (1106) Bad night (436)
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too. http://tfl.nu/amfi

Replies (7) Good night (981) Bad night (348)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance http://tfl.nu/2zgm

Replies (2) Good night (856) Bad night (272)
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i can only hope to be on your level one day.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window. (484): i can only hope to be on your level one day. http://tfl.nu/49sg

Replies (1) Good night (823) Bad night (328)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: