Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic