I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
