so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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