i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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