Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
