dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This baby is an asshole
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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