ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My penis needs a shock collar
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
