Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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