its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
