Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
