I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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