6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
