Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
