Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
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Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
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Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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