It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
