You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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