I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
