You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
