moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈ðŸ˜
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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