Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
