I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
