i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
