So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
